Short story

First of all, this is based on a true experience in my life that happened way back when I was a teenager with my best buddies. This story is meant as a joke and should be taken seriously by any party as we all did not intend to do what we did (honestly we didn’t!).The names of the characters have also been changed as I’ll probably get an earful for this and I am not going to take chances for getting sued (as if).

THE TALE OF THREE DOUCHEBAGS


EPILOGUE
This is a story about four dudes trying to enjoy their youth during what some people may call their “sweet sixteen” .For your information neither one of the main characters ever had the chance to dabble into this folklore (for us anyway) cause we were all just trying to have fun and goof off like regulars kids from the block, well at least three out of four were from the same block and one was still from the same state so never mind.



CHAPTER 1: PLANNING

I was woken by a phone call, at first thought i was thinking “who the hell would want to bother me during semester break?” well I finally got my lazy ass up and looked at my nokia 3315 cellphone (old school rocks for readers info).It was one of my best bud Kecik , at first you know you have the tendency to listen to your conscience thinking? You know when the angel on your right tells you to instantly pick up the phone and tend to your friend while the devil on your left tells you otherwise? Well this was one of those moments......

After 15 minutes of persistent calling I finally answered the call, “ Yo dude what the hell? Been trying to reach you” said Kecik, “Patience is virtue, just wanted to test if you had any” I cockily replied drowsily.”F%^k man I’m effing bored wanna go hang out at mid valley or something tomorrow? Dude did you just wake up?”. “ For your second question brilliant deduction Holmes, and for your first who else is going?”. “ I heard that both A and H are also on for the trip, Midvalley tickles your fancy? (FYI this was when Midvalley was the it place in Malaysia)?”. “Anywhere’s fine dude just let me know what time are we going? How do we get there and what are we going to do there?”. “Well we are gonna meet up at the KTM at 9 am and probably decide on what to do there, wing it and see man”. “Sh^te, couldn’t you guys pick an earlier time? It’s the holidays for pete sakes!”. “F&*k man are you in or are you out? Don’t have to be a wuss about it” said kecik in an irritated tone. “Fine I’m in, tell the lads I’ll see them tomorrow”. “Alright dude laters”. I didn’t even bother to reply and just hung up and continued to try and catch a few more minutes of sleep, but then my cellphone rings again, this time a text from A and H asking about tomorrows plan....there goes my sleep.



CHAPTER 2: LAST MINUTE DILEMMA

It’s 8.45 am in the morning of D-Day.....and where the hell is everybody? I’ve been up on my ass since 7.00 am on my vacation which I find a miraculous achievement, before I could start cursing at the cats that are keeping me company I see Kecik at my front gate.”Yo dude your ready early, whatever happened to the term ‘the coolest dude is always late’ crap you brought back from the west?”. “Dude i’ve been back for a while, consider Malaysia my second home” I said with a grin on my face. We both laughed at our remarks and that eased my temper a bit.” Anyways A is with H and they told us to meet them at the KTM”. To tell you the truth, during those days I hated` last minute change of plans but screw it I’m not going to let it spoil my day, especially not today when I get the chance to hang out with my amigos.”Fine let’s catch a cab before we hear the whining from those two”.

For what seems like forever (actually was 30 mins) we finally managed to get a cab and arrive at the KTM station.”Dudes you’re late” said a voice from the terminal while me and Kecik were buying our tickets.”It’s Malaysia A, try being on time and I’ll buy you a drink” I said without even looking at the guy since his voice is already all to familiar for me.”Hahaha well that’s true, anyways how’ve you been man how’s SAAS (my old high school) treating you?”. “ As always they are still trying to Malaysianize me and I’m still stuck with the nickname Mat Salleh Import”. “Well dude you’ve got to fix your BM at some point don’t you?”. “Says the dude who got lower marks for it in PMR than me than I guess I should take that seriously”. We both chuckled at our little pissy contest and headed to the platform where H was already waiting. “Dudes whatup? How’s life treating you?” said H. “Could have been better, my mum is still balling at me for taking too much time on the PC” said Kecik.”Well considering that you have been on myspace (facebook wasn’t around yet) and chatting on YM and playing games till dawn I guess it’s kinda a suprise that your mum is pissed” I said in a sarcastic tone. “But then again my mum has been hounding my ass about me spending my precious time away on the ps2 so you and I are on the same boat”. “Dudes we could always play x-box at my house in Damansara you know?” H interrupted. We three looked at him and nearly wanted to kiss him for giving us the chance to touch his x-box 360,as back then it was the holy grail of gaming.

The train to Sentul arrived and we fought our way in given that it’s a weekday and everyone was still in a rush to get to work.”Dudes....I’ve got a confession” said A in a unsure tone.”Don’t tell me your gay?” said kecik.” You’re pregnant?” said H. “You’re bisexual? “ I said just to complete the pun. “F@#k all of you” said A while laughing. “I’m actually meeting up with someone in Mid”. “Damn dude you should have told us you were going on a date, no way are we going to bother you and your girlfriend being lovey dovey” said Kecik as the signal for doors shutting came on. “Crap dude I thought we were bro’s “I said with my usual joker face.”You guys don’t have to worry, she’s bringing along three of her friends to be your dates” said A. At first we thought he was pulling our legs but then we realised he wasn’t and our jaws dropped, and the KTM doors rammed shut.



CHAPTER 3: DUMPEE NOT DUMPER


After changing trains at KL Sentral and a long time to regain our senses from A’s shocking revelation during the beginning of our journey we finally arrived on location. There it was, a thing of beauty a humongous mall all for us to explore (1 Utama New Wing was unheard of back then).Both Kecik and H dragged me aside for a group meeting.”Dude what the hell are we gonna do? I didn’t sign up for this sh*t” said Kecik in a protesting manner.”Well you said we were going to wing it and see, look what that got us into,besides neither you nor I have ever dated before!” I said nervously.”You guys are over reacting, chill and we’ll figure something out” said H as he is in relationship (at that time) I think he doesn’t comprehend the term ‘virgin to dating or relationships’ status hanging on both me and Kecik’s head.”How about we ditch the girls and enjoy ourselves?” said H .After careful deliberation and by god trying to get my head away from thinking that it goes against a gentlemen’s code of ethics (iI know it’s cheesy so shut it) we decided to tell the girl’s that we’ll go our way and they can do whatever they want on their own without us raining on their parade.

We had to wait for another forty-five minutes before the girls showed up so we ended up touring the place and having simple conversations along the way until finally the girl’s arrived. “Alright just go with the plan, and guys lightened up will ya?” said H. “We’re fine” I replied for me and Kecik while we were sweating like mad and our faces were pale as hell. The girls entered a shop and A and his girlfriend parted ways leaving us with her friends.Minutes go by felt like hours and me and Kecik were seriously tense and would rather go watch a chick flick then endure this. I tried to imagine ourselves cooly saying to the girls “look girl’s it’s not like we don’t want to hang with you, but how about we go our way and you go yours since I’m pretty sure we’ll both be happy about it”. As I thought about that sentence more I felt more confident as was ready to get my game face on. At last the girls came out of the shop and we walked slowly towards them and began rehearsing our ‘dumping’ speech in our heads.

As we got closer to them, the girls just walked the other way and one girl actually glanced at us and then followed her friends like we were not even there. For a brief period of time there was silence between the lads and I as we just stood there standing for a good 10 minutes I guess before Kecik broke the silence “Dude.....did we just get dumped?”.”.......Yeah...” that was the only reply that H could give and I was too in shock as we were actually dumped before we could even strike a conversation or meet them up close. That was a very shocking experience for the lads and I, but an eye opener at least.



CHAPTER 4: CONSULT THE ALL KNOWING


So after our little clash or getting dumped scenario, me,H and Kecik decided to lightened our dampened feelings as it was the first time we were ever dumped before even saying a word to a girl. How do three guys do this? It’s easy, all we did was go to this mystic land called ‘Toy’s R Us’ and wreck havoc in there. The best thing we did was fencing while skateboarding, it’s a cool sport and I wonder why the Extreme Sports didn’t come up with an event like it as it was awesome fun provided you ignore the stares from parents and grownups in the vicinity.

After a few rounds of so called ‘Extreme Fencing’ we finally found it, the holy grail of all things to come and yet to be for told. The complexity of its orb shape bewildered us and dragged us to it as if a parent calling a child, this thing had the same effect and it’s jet black colour astounded us as we picked it up we could actually hear sounds of angels in our ears.....okay enough drama it’s just a 8-ball that you shake while asking a question and it will give you an answer.

We tried a few factual questions and who would have known, the thing answered correctly, so finally we decided to test it on our future....which I am going to skip for certain reasons, let’s just say we got bad answers and leave it at that. Then we all had a mischievous idea, why not try and see whether A is going to get lucky with his girlfriend and strike second base. We brought the 8-ball to a secluded area of the shop and then chanted together “ Oh glorious 8-ball will A get lucky today?” we said while laughing our heads off as we shook it. We paused for a while before we took a look at the answer it gave. The answer made us scamper like mad and we put it back where it was and went looking for A as the 8-ball decreed “All roads lead to yes”.

As we were looking for A around the mall (I do not know why we did not call him as I would have been easier), we found more 8-balls on sale at Jusco and Metrojaya. We asked the same question and we were astounded that it gave the same answer every single time! We knew that there’s a big If that this actually going to happen as at the time we believed that there was no such thing as coincidences and that we were driven by foolish airhead reasoning. All was we could think of was one thing, “A you lucky bastard” .That was all that we could all think off and we searched the mall high and low for him ,hoping to get a glimpse of the action as we were hoping for some kind of entertainment .


CHAPTER 5: HELL NO!


After an hour of searching and stopping by a hobby shop to get a game board, we finally spotted the two lovebirds near the food court. As we did not want to surprise them we decided to follow them around without getting noticed.”Dude, you really sure we want to do this?” asked Kecik doubting that we were going to actually see A get lucky.”Just follow on dude, quit being a pansy” I snapped and we continued to tail them while ducking behind cover at times.

For what seemed like a good 30 minutes we followed the two lovey dovies around and finally they decided to head for the ground floor, which was a bonus for us since there were tons of exhibition booths assembled that we could hide behind whenever they glanced back.They finally decided to stop and enter a shop and we hid behind an exhibition booth which were packed with ladies, not that we minded them as we were to engrossed by A and his girlfriend, hoping for at least seeing them kiss or something.


Suddenly we saw a saleslady at our side smiling while blushing and we knew something was amiss, we looked around and all the ladies had mixed expressions, embarrassment, anger, and some were laughing.” Dude I think something’s not right” said Kecik.”Yeah man I feel like something’s off about this booth” I replied. After a short period of time, we finally figured it out as the sign was just above our heads; it read “Breast Cancer Examination Booth”. “What the F%^k! Dude we shouldn’t even be here!” exclaimed H. We got ourselves straightened out and walked out of the booth pretending like nothing happened while avoiding eye contact with the ladies in the area. As we did so we could already here the ladies chatting about us in the background and our faces were as red as hell, to make matters worse A saw the whole thing and was also laughing his head off in front of us.....damn we are never going to hear the end of this for years to come, oh well might as well get a kick out of it right?.
PS: This seriously happened and we still get a good laugh out of it after 6 years, and we are all still close together...and I don’t know how to properly end this story.....laters I guess.

THE END

Holiday Season

As the title states, the holidays have arrived and it's time to let go of all our burdens from our semester exams and enjoy ourselves :)

But for the moment i would like to reach out to those affected by the floods in Malaysia, my condolences to you and your family.Hopefully our government and our volunteer workers and activist will be able to aid you however they can,be it labor work or donations (yes I donated some too) .

So even though holidays have begun for some of us varsity students, we should all be thankful that some of us are not affected by natural disasters and try to keep things into perspective....in other words don't get your head too up high into the clouds yet for it might just hurt you more when something bad happens,be ready for anything that comes by as anything is possible now since our whole weather pattern is shifting into a weird angle.

However, that does not mean that I am not going to be a "party pooper" and tell you not to indulge into your freedom, all I'm saying just take care of yourselves in the process as something bad might happen.As for me, I am currently chilling at home enjoying a few novels and books, hanging out woth my buds, texting with someone important to me and chatting with my buds from UKM while I have some free time.Probably if i do have financial backup I'll do a little travelling,if not then I'll probably just hang out with my buds and catch up with my family members (yes the whole lot of them).

Finally i would like to wish a very "Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha" to all my muslim friends, may you enjoy the festivities and food to come (Some of you guys didn't think I could remember the name of the raya did you?).That's all for now ladies and gents, till next time,Laters!

Uniqlo

Hey whatup ladies and gents, it's been a while since i blogged due to exam season (don't ask how was it). Anyways we had a week gap because of Deepavali and the princess and a few of my friends were tensed because of their exams (especially those taking Advance Accounting). So how did we solve this problem? we all went for the Uniqlo opening!! wohoo!!! here are a few pics for your viewing.So after waiting for 3 hours, we finally managed to get in and all I can say is that it was worth it as all my buddies who went truly enjoyed themselves and that alone is enough for me to feel relieved as I can be sure none of them are going to breakdown from examination stress.Well that's all for now...will blog more later on after this,laters lads!